10.5 Months – 52 Weeks, A Blog Dedicated To Lionel Larry

52 weeks – February 1st, 2016 – 10 ish months

When I think back to last year at this time – it is hard to believe how much has transpired.  Our final holiday together as a family to Florida ended with us having to come back because my Dad could hardly walk.  Most of January was more spinal radiation, and hope – hope that he would be eligible for this clinical trial, because the other treatment he was on had failed in December.  Last year at this exact moment in time – we were still slightly hopeful.  Looking back, I see how hope protects the brain.  Hope is a powerful emotion, that we must all hold onto – until we cannot any longer.  On Feb 16th, we got the news that the cancer had spread terribly in the brain – there were 9 tumors in the brain alone.  Try to process that!  Our hope was starting to fade.  My Dad never gave up – ever.  He took more treatment, even at that time – for the chance that it would give him an extra week.  My Dad left the world with his heels dug in til the bitter end.  He did not want to go, he was not ready – he never became ready, to be totally honest. When the Doctor told him the news that it was long weeks, to short months – he looked around the room at his whole family, and he said” I cant go now, I still have so much to be responsible for!”.

I will never forget that – ever.

Thinking back on last year, I am grateful to be on this side – although I would take that pain, uncertainty and anxiety for one more moment with my Dad.  This whole experience changed me forever.  I feel sad and a bit lost from my spirit I used to carry before the diagnosis.  I was always a very positive little girl, seeing the light and the love and the ‘meaning’ in everything.  My husband would tell you – that I changed on that day, and still have not returned.  I long for my old self – like I long for my dad.  I am hoping once I hit the year mark – and beyond, that I can slowly edge towards that part of me that shifted or changed – or maybe the point is not to cling to the past, but redefine yourself by taking the lessons, and leaving behind the pain.  Either way, the one thing I know for sure is that all we have is NOW, and NOW is ever changing.  I also know that when hope starts to fade, the essence of ALLOW must take over.

with love,



Share This






Your understanding and co-operation is requested, by reading and signing the following Informed Consent and Waiver form. I!

I understand and acknowledge that Dr. Jodi Larry, N.D. is a registered naturopathic doctor and the Cleanse for Life program (the “CFL Program”) is a group supported cleanse intended for general well-being, to enhance my knowledge of health and wellness as it relates to foods, dietary supplements and lifestyle behaviors. I represent and warrant that I am healthy and do not have a medical condition that would prevent my participation in the CFL Program. In addition, I understand and acknowledge that Dr. Larry is not a psychiatrist, psychologist or psychotherapist. Dr. Larry is no way responsible for any personal issues or anxieties that may be triggered because of my participation in the CFL Program. I understand that it can be a detriment to my health and safety to participate in the CFL Program if I am going through any of the following: · Acute trauma · Severe mental health condition that is not currently stable · Active addiction to drugs or alcohol · Eating disorder (unless stable and I have provided a letter from my treating therapist approving participation it the CFL Program). I acknowledge that if I am under the care of a health professional or currently use prescription medications, I will discuss any dietary changes or the potential use of any dietary supplements with my doctor and will not discontinue any prescription medications without first consulting my medical doctor. In consideration of being permitted to participate in the CFL Program, I agree to assume full responsibility for any risks, injuries, or damages known or unknown which might incur as a result of my participation. Understanding the CFL Program – A Safe Environment and Confidentiality The CFL Program can be a powerful and valuable venue for healing and growth. It is a process of understanding more about yourself and others in a safe environment. You are welcome to share as much or as little about yourself while in the group, however, the more open you are the better experience you will have. Due to the nature of the CFL Program privacy and confidentiality are of the utmost concern. A safe environment is fostered and maintained by both Dr. Larry and the group members. Primary ingredients are mutual respect and a chance to create trust. Another primary ingredient for a safe environment has to do with confidentiality. Dr. Larry is bound by law to maintain confidentiality, as group members are bound by honor to keep what is said in the group in the group. Therefore, it is essential that any and all information presented and shared within the group, whether by Dr. Larry or another group member, is not to be discussed outside of the group setting with anyone for any reason. For clarity, you are permitted to share what you are learning about yourself in the CFL Program with a significant other, however you may not talk about how events unfold in group or in any other way compromise the confidentiality of other group members. I understand and acknowledge that confidentiality may be breached by Dr. Larry if a CFL Program participants discusses any of the following: (a) suicidal ideations or thoughts and Dr. Larry feels the person is at risk; (b) intent to harm him/herself or someone else; or (c) physical abuse. Dr. Larry is mandated by her board to give this information to appropriate persons in order to obtain the best care for you and those you may harm. In further consideration of being permitted to participate in the CFL Program, I knowingly, voluntarily, and expressly release Dr. Larry from any and all liabilities and waive any claim I may have against Dr. Jodi Larry for injury or damages that I sustain as a result of such participation. I and my heirs or legal representatives forever release, waive, discharge, and covenant not to sue Dr. Jodi Larry, for any injury or death caused by negligence or other acts. I have read the above informed consent and waiver and fully understand its contents. I voluntarily agree to the terms and conditions stated above.