Week 15/16 – Thursday July 16, 2015
“Reach out your hand if your cup be empty
If your cup is full may it be again
Let it be known there is a fountain
That was not made by the hands of men
There is a road, no simple highway
Between the dawn and the dark of night
And if you go no one may follow
That path is for your steps alone” – Jerry Garcia
To me these words above, symbolize what I have been living and feeling the past two weeks.
My last few posts I was in a very deep, stuck place. To be honest – most of the first 3 months I could not really shift or move or even breathe well. I felt very stuck in my missing and longing, and trying to fathom the last two years of the cancer journey, the hope and fear, and the bitter end – watching someone you love so dearly wither away. Fathers day also really took a toll on my spirit and psyche.
But, like many wise friends have said – the emotions will flow like waves. Ride them, and make sure when you finish riding the low – get up again! I was lucky enough to take a trip to Chicago a couple weeks ago – to be amongst 75, 000 other music lovers, peace lovers, and life lovers dancing, singing and experiencing the spirit and essence of connection through music. Music has always been a healing tool for me. It is a way to express emotions that cannot be spoken in words, and feel the words that cannot be expressed through language. I thought of my dad the whole time I was away – but not in a missing/longing way. I felt so grateful to be his daughter. Lionel, is the man who taught me to be free, to walk to my beat, and follow my own path. He is the reason I adventure, I take risks and I try to help and inspire myself and others. I felt amazing in that moment, that I could thank him for my spirit. I cry writing this, but in a different way – tears of gratitude. My father was/is the most respectable, fun loving human being. I feel so overwhelmed with luck that he is the man that gets to live inside my heart every day,and was the man guiding me for 34 years.
Last night, I spent a gorgeous summer night with friends, listening to music. It was powerful, and fun, and again I just felt gratitude for the free spirit I was given by my father. Life is short. If you are reading this – I hope you know that. I hope you will begin to live in such a way that if your life were to end tomorrow – you would have felt accomplished! My dad never knew he would die so young, but he sure lived as though he did, and yet he never wanted to leave. He loved it all way too much!!!!!
Live your life with purpose, with passion, do the things you love NOW. Listen to music LOUD, get out into NATURE this summer, Spend time with friends, tell the people you love that you LOVE them. Tell the people that inspire you, how and why! Do not judge, Plan the parties, spark the connection! make it happen, Wake up your soul – we only have one chance at this! and most of all, as Mickey Hart said – so simple,yet so profound – BE KIND.
Will leave you with this beautiful song from Chicago – Touch of grey – I will get by, I will survive!!
Til next week,